A New Guide To Sex Positions And Techniques
New sex positions ]
The good old missionary position or man on top is the most popular sex position. As you know, the woman lies on her back and the man takes her from above, or perhaps slightly to one side of her. Men love this position - it allows deep thrusting and they can control how fast they thrust. When they near orgasm, men are overtaken with an instinctive sexual response, one of fast and deep instinctual thrusting; to be able to express this so profoundly in the man on top position gives men a deeply satisfying sense of sexual fulfillment. Women like man on top sex because of the opportunity for kissing and the extensive bodily contact. It is a romantic position, and one that makes women feel safe and protected during lovemaking.
How to make sex in the man on top position better
For men: as a neat variation on a theme, try thrusting your penis between your lover's breasts as she lies on her back. Have her hold her breasts so that they form a tunnel for your penis to slide in and out of - you may need some lube to make this easier. This is likely to make a man come quite quickly, and you can both enjoy the sensation of him ejaculating on your body.
For women: You can also hold your partner's testicles as he thrusts or perhaps even put a finger on or in his anus as he thrusts - he is likely to find this very exciting!
If your man has an enormous penis, have him lie flat on top of you and keep your legs together as much as possible, so that even if he does not enter you fully, the shaft of his penis is still being stimulated by your thighs. This will also be more comfortable for you.
For greater connection and deeper penetration, wrap your legs around his back or hips, increasing your pelvic tilt.
Try exhaling deeply just before your man enters you; as he enters you breath in and tighten your PC muscle. This will give him the sense of being sucked into your vagina.
You can see our menu of sex advice pages above! Just click on the page you want to read more. But to start, here's some more information on taking a woman to orgasm - Orgasm By Command, a remarkable program for helping men help women to achieve orgasm easily by Lloyd Lester.
The Coital Alignment Technique - Riding High!
Riding high is a wonderful term. Basically, you shift up her body once your penis is firmly inside her, so that your pubic bone presses on her clitoris as you thrust. Or, rather, you don't thrust so much as rock. It's a gentle up-and-down movement, with short movements of the penis in-and-out of her vagina about two inches at a time. Frankly, I've never really understood it, despite the number of times it's been described on sex websites. But once, when I was gently moving on my partner and she had her ankles resting on my calves, she was transported by the sensations of her clitoris being stimulated. Somehow, we'd just found the CAT position by chance, and yes, it worked. But sadly, we've never found it again!
Who says it's boring? Yes, it may be the bread and butter position for sex, but it does have some very significant advantages. It's loving, romantic, and easy to kiss, you have full body contact, and it can feel fulfilling for the man (a dominant position speaks to the male subconscious) and satisfying for the woman (she may feel safe and dominated - which can speak to her deepest sense of feminine self). You can also keep eye to eye contact.
If you want to dominate her, or she wants to be "taken", then this is the position in which you can both fulfill your desires.
Some say this sex position is good for pregnancy: the vagina tends to retain more semen. Well, that may be so, but I doubt there's any real evidence for that. What's more certain is that you may need to support yourself if you weigh more than she does, unless she likes being really pinned down. Worse, you're much more likely to have a bad case of no control during lovemaking because of the muscle tension that develops when you hold your weight on your elbows or arms (muscle tension spreads through your back, shoulders and pelvis. And when these muscles are tense, you tend to ejaculate more quickly).
And if the standard old in-and-out, penis-in-the-vagina, routine of sex ever gets to be a bit boring, you can modify your missionary position. She can keep her legs together, between yours, so her vagina tightens up on your penis. While this will be exciting and arousing for you, she might even find that this positional gives her clitoris more stimulation too.
It's all about the angle of her legs, how far back she has them, and how tightly she holds them together. The higher she raises them, the deeper your penis can penetrate her. The closer together she has them, the tighter her vagina. This may sound like the missionary position is just about a woman sexually satisfying her man, but it isn't: if she raises her pelvis slightly (by putting a cushion under her buttocks, for example), your penis will thrust against her G-spot more firmly, and if she's the sensitive type, she'll be having G-spot sensations (like "exquisite electricity", as my partner puts it) in no time at all.
You can invent your own modified missionary, too. If you're thrusting in the conventional, lying down missionary position, try starting sex with the man kneeling on the bed, knees widely spread. Lift her legs over your thighs, so her thighs are wide apart, her vulva is open and her pelvis is lifted. Then enter her and thrust - your penis hits her G-spot more than before.
If she's supple, she can maybe put her legs over your shoulders. If not, she can put her feet on your chest, and if your penis is long enough, you'll still be able to enter her and thrust. But that might not be for you if you see the missionary position as a way to establish greater closeness and intimacy - both physical and emotional. Sex is, after all, at its best when it combines the emotional, the spiritual and the physical. The missionary is a great position for doing that.
So on to the new sex positions pictures!
You might be wondering what can possibly be new about man on top sex -- after all, it's the sex position in which more people make love than any other.
Well, even if you think there are only a few basic positions for lovemaking (rear entry, man on top, woman on top, side by side, standing and sitting), there always hundreds of new variations you can come up with which individually alter the angle and depth of penetration, and so make the experience feel like a completely new one.
You can experience this yourself very simply by making love in the man on top position, starting off with the woman lying on the bed with her legs flat on the bed, and her man lying between them as he enters her. Take note of how it feels for both of you; the depth of penetration, pressure on different parts of his penis and her vagina. Now have the woman raise her knees, with her feet flat on the bed. This will significantly alter the angle of her hips and her vagina, and make the experience feel somewhat different. It might be better for you, or it might not: the physical feelings you get when you adopt a new sex position depend on the angle of man's erection, and the angle of the woman's vagina, so there's no way of knowing what will feel best for any particular couple.
Now take the experiment a stage further: have the woman pull her knees back right up to her chest: the man can support himself on his arms, or he can rest on her legs folded over her chest if the pressure is not too great for her. In both cases, check out how it feels. You're going to find that there's a different feel to each of these variations; and some of these new sex positions will feel better than others.
And that's our point: you can play around, you can try different things, and in the end you get hundreds of variations of the basic positions, each of which is a new experience, a new sexual position in its own right.
But there's more to it than this! What you feel isn't just about the angle of penetration. Loads of other things make a difference too -- for example, while a lot of couples believe that penetration has to be followed by in and out thrusting, faster or slower as experience has taught you, there are plenty of variations that can alter both the emotional and physical sensations you experience during your lovemaking.
So for example, in the early stages of lovemaking, before a man's instinctual urges to thrust into his partner have taken over, there's plenty of opportunity for moving in a different way. You could try a gentle circular motion of the man's hips; or perhaps you could have the woman thrust while the man remains still. Another possibility is for the man to vary the depth of his thrusts, perhaps alternating deep and shallow thrusts, or perhaps just entering an inch or two inside his partner and then withdrawing so that the very outermost parts of her vagina receive more stimulation from the head of his penis than they normally would.
Another variation is known as the CAT (which stands for coital alignment technique, if you're interested): the man enters his partner, then shifts his body upwards on hers. Upon full penetration they then rock their hips, so that his pubic area stimulates her clitoris. It's actually possible for a woman to reach orgasm easily through clitoral stimulation in this way, and because the man isn't thrusting he's likely to be able to last much longer than he normally would during sex.
Now, having said all of that, we know that man on top -- commonly known as the missionary position -- is the one in which most people make love most often. Why should that be so? If such an old sex position is so popular, there's likely to be a very good reason why! In fact, we think are several reasons why man on top sex continues to be everybody's favorite:
Now, you may think some of those reasons are unreconstructed patriarchal stereotypes. The point is, as we said before, is that more people make love in the man on top position than in any other, so whether they are stereotypes or not, they appear to be fulfilling and rewarding for many people. But none of this needs to stop us trying new sex positions! Even if you spend 80% of your time making love in the man on top position, there's plenty of opportunity to try out new positions, even if they're just variations on a theme. You can see more of these in the photographs on this page.
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