Sitting sexual positions
Sitting sexual positions
Survey after survey shows that sitting sex positions are the least popular of all. Why would that be? Since penetration is so easy, and the couple are so close, you might think that sitting down to make love would be very popular – but less than 2% of people say they use this sex position regularly.
One reason why sitting sex doesn’t seem to be many people’s new sex position is that it has the air of a second-rate way to get it together.
For example, movement is limited and rather difficult for both the man and the woman, and thrusting becomes almost impossible. Since that’s a major part of what makes sex so rewarding for the man, maybe not being able to push deep into the woman’s body just doesn’t cut it.
But even so, sex doesn’t have to be all in the same position, all the time, either in one session of sex or in different sessions of sex. So why not use sitting sex as an interlude between other positions, a kind of rest, in which you recover, establish intimacy and talk to each other?
There are few things more intimate than talking to a lover while you’re locked in a loving embrace. You can drift off into a relaxed state, with no pressure to perform (i.e. no pressure to last a long time for the man, and no pressure for the woman to reach orgasm).
And if you use a little imagination, it’s possible for a couple to stimulate the woman’s clitoris while her man remains sitting still but enjoys the feeling of having his erect penis inside her.
And when the couple want more sensation, the woman can gently move on him – which is the essence of this position. Slow, seductive, romantic, connected – these are all words which we could justifiably apply to sex in the sitting position. Perhaps, after all, sitting sex might be one of the new sexual techniques?
So what type of personality is it that would enjoy this position? Those who like romantic sex, connected sex, sex with the opportunity to talk in between bouts of lovemaking.
Those who want to enjoy relaxed lovemaking; couples who who appreciate each other’s company in the most intimate way.
And the conservative nature of the position might indicate the characteristics of the men and women who use this position – those who want gentle romance in a way that’s intimate and thoroughly predictable.
And, just for the record, only about 1% of couples reported using sitting sex positions in a survey conducted in June 2010 by Sex Techniques And Positions – that compares to 40% who like to use the man on top position in all its forms, and 22% who like to use the rear entry. So – our suggestion is: try it out, find out what it has to offer, and don’t be bound by preconceptions about what’s going to turn you on and what’s going to be boring…..
Sitting sex positions
We’ve already outlined some of the advantages and disadvantages of the sitting sex position. To reiterate, the sitting sex position is a slow, romantic, relaxed position which suits couples who want intimate connection, gentle lovemaking, and even the chance to really connect to each other as the man keeps his erection inside the woman, but without moving his hips or pelvis.
This gives them an opportunity to really establish a sense of closeness during lovemaking. It’s one of the new sex positions for a romantic experience.
But – and here’s a really important difference – you can see in the picture above that the woman is facing away from the man as she sits on his lap. Now, that adds a whole new dimension to this position!
And, as you can see from the first picture, there’s still plenty of opportunity for intimate connection – note how the couple are laughing and smiling as they explore the possibilities of making love like this.
And, let’s face facts, it’s fun to play in such a child-like way when you’re engaged in the most open, fundamental form of human interaction: sex. That’s the new aspect of being a sexual human being!
From the position of the woman’s thighs, you’ll see how her clitoris and vulva is open to stimulation from both the man and the woman.
Indeed, the opportunity to stimulate her like this means that she may well be able to reach orgasm as the couple make love – giving the man the opportunity of enjoying her orgasm as she comes with him still inside her.
This may just push him over the edge into his orgasm: it’s quite likely the couple can enjoy simultaneous orgasm in this way. See in particular, Waldinger’s work on the concept of ejaculation distribution in a normal population of men.
That’s just the new example of how making love while you are sitting can have some unexpected advantages. You might also appreciate the depth of penetration that can be achieved (always very satisfying for the man), the chance that the woman has to flex her vaginal muscles in different ways (see the different positions of her legs in the first and second photographs), and the close contact between her perineum and his testicles.
Even better, the fact that the man has limited room to thrust means he is likely to last longer during sex, since thrusting is one of the things that makes a man come quickly.
He’s also likely to have greater self-control because his body muscles are not under tension, and, when a man’s body is relaxed, he’s much more likely to stay in control of his ejaculation.
So, suddenly all kinds of unexpected benefits begin to emerge from what looks at first like a rather boring way to make love. How nice!
And what kind of personality is going to enjoy this kind of sex? Probably a couple with a conservative attitude to lovemaking who enjoy a stable love life, romance and intimacy, but who want variation and excitement from time to time…..
To return to the point about ejaculation control: we must all seek out ways to enable us to control premature ejaculation if we are to be the kind of lover our female partners want us to be.
This means not only being caring, and focused on the connection between us and our partners, but also able to sense when we are near the point f ejaculation, when our partner is near the point of orgasm, and when we need to bring her arousal on while ours drops. Only with a good system that teaches you how to prevent premature ejaculation will this be possible.